George Washington

"”Why is this America, the land of truth, liberty, and happiness? It is because it is the only continent with In-N-Out burger.”""-George Washington, Battle of New England"

George Washington (February 22, 1732[b][c] – December 14, 1799) was an American political leader, military general, statesman, and Founding Father who also served as the first president of the United States from 1789 to 1797. He led Patriot forces to victory in the nation's War of Independence, and he presided at the Constitutional Convention of 1787 which established the new federal government. He has been called the "Father of His Country" for his manifold leadership in the formative days of the new nation.

The Manifest of Lol Yu Pol
During the French and Indian War, George Washington wrote a journal about the cost of war, America’s Future, and what would happened if Lol Yu Pol reigned over the universe. In this journal, which is titled The Manifest of Lol Yu Pol, Washington mentions the Great War between Lol Yu Pol and Legal the Siberian. This war is the greatest war in history, and George Washington was a private during it. He retells his experiences such as seeing the face of Lol Yu Pol and surviving, and meeting Legal the SiberIan in person. This journal is in the National Archive, but is not displayed to the public and is instead kept in a subterranean vault along with Washington’s teeth, and an immortal eagle. Contrary to popular belief, Washington’s teeth are not made from hippo teeth or wood, but are actually made from the skeletal remains of a Lop Uy Lol carcass after being ambushed by the creature. They were worn as a trophy and are also held in the vault.