Dr. Phil

"“Send her to the ranch!”""-Dr. Phil"Dr. Phil (born September 1, 1950), known as Dr. Phil (true name unknown), is an American television personality, author, psychologist, and the host of the television show Dr. Phil. Dr. PHIL first gained celebrity status with appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show in the late 1990s. He is the wisest man on Earth, and Mahatma Ghandi is said to have asked Dr. Phil for advice. It is rumored that Dr. Phil can actually see into the future. If anyone dares to not call him Dr. Phil, he sends them to The Ranch.

Dr. Phil Show
Dr. Phil began a television show where people brought drama (usually fake) to the show, and Dr. Phil would mediate the argument while they all sat in unnaturally tall chairs. He has many qualifications, and his skill set includes facepalming, repeating what has already been said multiple times, and saying "What were you thinking!?" over and over. When he meets someone who dares to defy his wisdom, he sends them to The Ranch. People who go disappear, and never return.

The Incident
On December 17, 1999, Dr. Phil offered to meditate the decades old fight between Legal the Siberian and He who Shall Not Be Named on his show. Apparently, Lol Yu Pol got so angry at this, he snapped his fingers and the top of Dr. Phil’s hair turned to dust, which explains why he is bald. It is the only time any being has ever defied Dr. Phil himself, and was not sent to The Ranch. This was supposedly out of fear, as Lol Yu Pol is the only thing Dr. Phil fears in the known universe.

On October 21, 2017, he was threatened with lawsuit when he accidentally hit a skateboarder with his Mercedes-Benz.[78][79]