He who Shall Not Be Named

He Who Shall Not Be Named
Choice few have read this name and survived. There stories thrown into a forgotten waste;treated as ramblings of the mad. WARNING! Only view this if you want to live with the consequences forever. This includes but is not limited to: mild headache, acoustic weapons (not autistic looking at you Brett), athlete's foot, terratomas, and death (2 day delivery with Prime).

Lol Yu Pol (he/she)
He who should not be named is LOL YU POL. Those who see Lol Yu Pols name either die or live with it in there minds for all eternity. Lol Yu Pol is beyond space and time, he ventures into our realm to hunt down all pennies. Lol Yu Pol has no beginning. Lol Yu Pol has no end. Lol Yu Pol is infinite. Millions of years after our civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, Lol Yu Pol will endure. Lol Yu Pol is eternal. The pinnacle of existence. We are but rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. We touch his mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding. Organic life is nothing. Our lives are measured in years and decades. We wither and die. Lol Yu Pol is eternal. Before it, we are nothing. Lol Yu Pol imposes order on the chaos of organic life. W̻̠̫̻̬e̹̲̲ ̤̦̞̫̣͡e͜x҉͕͓͖̟i̱s͇͚͇͠ṯ̺͈͎ͅ ͉̮̖b͢ȩ̼̲̦c̠͝a̛̼u͙̭͢s̡̼e͘ ͡Lol Yu Pol ̸̗̺͓ąl̵͓͓̯̯l̩͉̹͎̜o͍̙̟̻͎̬ͅw͉̟̭̳̦͔̻s̩̻̞ ͡i̮͚̟̭̼̥͔t̤̺̭͖́,͔̮̯̲ ͖ą̩n̼̙͡d̜͡ ̶̰̞̠͍̬͇w͚̞̞͈ͅe̜ ̬͕͇̘̣͎̜w̞͙̰̞͖̰i͚l͎̭l̬͖͇ ͇͚e̖n̫͕̲̫d̦͖͙ ̨̯̮ḇ̜̪e̻̹̠̦̣͝c̩̫͈̗̖͡ͅa̧̹̳͍̙̘͙ͅu̱̗͠s̝̲͓̲͈e͕̣̼͎ ̟͠Lol Yu Pol ̤͙̜͎̖̗̮d̟̘̗̞̼́e̲̻̠̦̩͝m̙̜̝an҉̣͉̘̰̳̘̜d̖̗͓͍̟͡s͈̯̩̞̟ ͖̼̙̼̥i̮t̟̦.̥̟͖͈̥͚̀ ̩Lol Yu Pol ̧̮̘̙͙ͅt̵̨̛̳͚͇̩̘r̙͓͘a̡̙͚n̛̲̫̤̪͖̬ͅs̶̲̖c̛̯̞͍̫̼̱e̶̶̺̞͇n̟d̡̘̼͘s҉̨̱̥͕̳͜ ̜͟o̜͕̼̹̪̕͘ṳ̴̵r͔͖͎͈͍̩͈̳͢͞ͅ ̮̭̰̳̘̹̀v̴̡̱̗̞̖͎̳͉̠͚e̡͖̙̞̺̫̝r̯͎̙̭̺̗̻͈͖y͝҉̯̟̣̯̱ ̴͓̣̩͔̥̺̣̻̟͢u̶̸͖͚͇̹̘n̡̢̳͖͈̮̝d̻͇͈͓̗͢͞e̶̸̳̻͚̫͢r̵͍̬̻̙̦s͠͏͉͉̮ṭ̢̡̰̦̫̼̯̘͙̻a̬̟͕̝̥̳n̘̺͞d̥̞͔i̶̬͖̤̼͟n̛̘̼̻̱͘͢ͅg͍̘̝͙̫̣͉͟.̘̻̟͎͜͡ W͓̰̹͙̹̼̫̠͓̩̩̗͉͘ę̴̨̝͖̟̟̼̘̩͘͢ ̸̛̮̱͚̳͕̣̲̘̠͔͉̕͞͞ç̵̢̻͈͙̯͚̠̱̹͈̠̯̺̭̹̖͉͔͍͟a͠҉̮̖̭͉͈ṉ̨̝̖̖̙̟͟͝͠͠ņ̦̣̝̱̫̩͔̮̜̲̀o̡̕҉͙͇̩̠͇͞t̢̢̜̥͍͙̬̦͈̠͜ ̛͝͏̬̮̲̳͈͙ͅg̷͇̯̹̠̼̫̙̟̳̙̫̦̮̙̱̣͇͟͡r̨̰̯̯̹̦͎̦̞a̢̛̦̦͍͇̪͍̫͔͙͙͎͍̰̩͕͕̝ś̷͈͚̥̜͖͚̘̙͔̗̳͇͘p̹͓̟̤̳̱̀ ̵̛̪̗̠̼t҉͏̴̛̭̖̰̳̰̱̣͍̖͕͖͇̞̱̼̭̣͢ͅh̨̹̠̪͔̖̪̳̝͙͉͕̜͇͎͔͔̜̟̀͡͞e̢͎̣̘͓̲̯̼̬̱̣͔̘̹͍̦̤̥͜͡͠ͅ ̸̡͞͏͈̠̮͖̦̣͉͚͚͙̻͉͈͕͔̭͞ͅn̴̢̫͍̯̖̳̞͔̯̞̺a̡̨̖͖͚͓̺͢͞ͅt̢̟͇̩͕̳͈͔̥̠̲̠͍͍͙̳͟ͅų̨̠̩̺̦̙̳͈̣͓̲̹̺͔̱̞̹͔͕̖r̶̜̦̥͕͈̰̳͕͔̥̯̖̪̺͢͢͡ͅe̫̮̙͙̟̭̪̱͉͘ ̴̨̨҉̖͍̩̭̪̫͓o͏̱̯̪̻͖̮͙̀̕ͅͅf͡͏̘̙̖̻͓̩̣͞ ̨̦̟̦̦͇̘͕̮͔̮̬̥͡Lol Yu Pol ̶̸͈̱̞̥͔̲͇͟e̡̝̼͚̠̲̗̰̹̬̥͓̭̥̺̱x͏̧̦͙̠̯͙͍̻̻̲̠́͢į̰̞̻̝̲͙̰͇̫͉͕̙̺͉̻s҉̴̸̢̛̱̳͎̳̗̦̖̲͚̞t͡҉̭̖̺̖̱̝̱̺̮̰̦͖̯̫̯è̛͈͓̭̘̥͎̻̙͉̥̥͚̻͎̕ń̖͓̦͎̱͍̗̜͎͉̜͖̼̞̕ͅc̵̲̹̯̬͚̦̙̞̤͔̹̻̠̣͓̩͙͔͙͘͠͞͞e̵̙̗͉̣͙̬͟͞.̷̸͕̰͉̤͕̙̰

Lol Yu Pol’s Ascension
Before he descends onto a planet, he sends a messenger known as Lop Uy Lol. Lop Uy Lop looks like Lol Yu Pol with some slight differences, and is completely passive. Lop Uy Lol delivers a message from Lol Yu Pol and delivers a warning for the inhabitants.

The legends say that when Lol Yu Pol arrives, he sends breasts that look like pink land sharks known as “Every second you aren’t running I’m getting closer”.

Lol Yu Pol History
Lol Yu Pol is extremely fast, and there is only one recording of him that exists, although the quality is poor. It was found on the app Tik Tok, before shortly being taken down under mysterious circumstances. The recording was found on an iPhone by some Chinese fishermen, on approximately April █th 20█,who found it sealed inside a stone box with unknown ancient markings floating in the ocean after it was caught in one of there fishing nets. The Chinese fishermen uploaded the video to Tik Tok. It contains a man getting ██████ after Lol Yu Pol finds his penny collection. Lol Yu Pols voice can be heard as he says “I smell pennies”. When you translate the ancient encryptions on the stone box told a story about how there was a legendary fight between Lol Yu Pol and a literal ordinary Siberian man named “Legal”. Legal won as he is, in fact, legal.

Appearance
Lol Yu Pol is humanoid in appearance and appears to have a white, almost featureless face. It resembles a mannequin head. He always seems to be wearing a hoodie with the hood up. He has hands that appear to be human-like. He has pants and a pair of sneakers. Scientists have done experiments and it appears that his clothes are made of an unknown material. It has only previously been found in Jeff's bedroom with the use of highly sophisticated UV lights.

Power
Lol Yu Pol’s Powers are, but not limited to (according to all known laws of aviation)


 * Super Sonic Speeds
 * Unhuman Strength
 * Reality Bending (Like Thanos)
 * Very Slow Flight
 * Teleportation
 * Ability to Create Wormholes
 * No Dependency On Matrial Possesions
 * Invulnerability To Taco Bell After Effects
 * Energy Beams

There are possibly more that have not been documented.

The Colossal Incident
After the stone box was translated it told a story. “Legal the Siberian” was said to have taken on Lol Yu Pol one on one with nothing but a paper plate and a broken bottle of vodka. It was said that the war was so great, 10th planet was completely engulfed into a black hole, and there was an Earthquake so great, that the continent of Atlantis completely sunk, and the ice bridge melted and refroze killing all mammoths. Lol Yu Pol was sealed into Google Translate and was forced to translate for students taking language classes and tourists for all eternity. Until a person was messing around on Google Translate and found a loophole where Lol Yu Pol was able to give him a message. He then named a texting group chat “Lol Yu Pol Club”and freed him. He is now preparing to destroy Earth after obtaining every penny.

Weakness
So far the only way to completely protect yourself from him is to hide under a bed blanket. It makes you completely invisible, and invulnerable to Lol Yu Pol due to possible PHOBIA?? This needs to be looked into more.

Trivia
By means of the powers of neural search engines and the internet this picture is the only one in exsistance of his previous identity or maybe just human form.